Give the Mouse a Cookie

Give the mouse a cookie, she’ll ask for a glass of milk.

 There’s no typo here. It’s a she.

This Dubai Lama has been doing some thinking on the part of Muslim men, in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and Indonesia, and beyond. Yes, beautiful Indonesia suffering under the eyesore of women straddling bikes! Not enough that a tsunami hit the sunny coasts of Aceh, now women (those rambunctious ignorant creatures), are stubbornly and shamelessly flaunting their rear behinds straddling motorbikes all over the island.

 No wonder a tsunami had to hit. Allah’s wrath against bike-straddling women can be endless. It sweeps everyone in between, the bike, the bikers, and the sunbathing tourist.

 Warning to potential tourists: Before you head to the shores of Aceh, make sure that women there have adhered to the No-Bike-Straddling Law. Severe punishment from Almighty awaits those who disregard the warning.

 Better yet, all of you restless, righteous Aceh, Afghani, Pakistani, Saudi male souls, who have been plagued by the sight of women (astaghferollah), get rid of them. Nip the problem in the bud. Just finish them off.

 Let me help you here.

 The biggest mistake Mohammad did was abolishing the killing of infant girls. Rectify that and call far a sweeping femicide to rid the world of women. Otherwise, the list of rights those inferior creatures are demanding has no end.

 First, secure in the fact that they wouldn’t be killed in the swaddle, muslim girls demanded to go to school. Then they started to have opinions and insisted on being heard (disregarding the fact that their voices are haram). Then they wanted to be a part of the shura, demanded seats in the Parliament, some became queens, leaders, drove cars, wore pants.

 Did I say drove cars?

 King Abudllah of Saudi Arabia: Are you out of your mind? Have you stopped taking your medication or what?

 Muslim men, make it easy for yourselves, because the world was created for you and you alone.

 Instead of demanding that women wear the veil, show only one eye (if at all), stay home, just get rid of them, annihilate them, finish them off.

They’ve been such a burden and lately I’m beginning to think that some of you, muftis, mullahs, nose-pickers, toe-scratchers, are losing sleep, pondering on the future of the world with so many women in it.

 For sex, you’ll have each other. Not that you haven’t done that already.

And you have your goats. Majority of you wouldn’t even know the difference between a woman and a goat.

As far as reproduction is concerned, well, your offspring will look just like you. Goats do have beards, mind you.

 A match made in heaven.


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